


Last Morning

by ephemeralfangirl



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Family Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 18:58:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5837203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeralfangirl/pseuds/ephemeralfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leia and baby Rey's last moments together. (pre TFA)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Morning

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! Last week, when I finally saw TFA, a friend and I both made a passionate and pretty damn strong case about the fact that Rey was Han and Leia’s daughter, because that girl is the child their glorious DNA deserves! Out of the discussion came this little piece of heartbreak. I apologize in advance.

“Stay still Rey,” Her little girl was squirming so much, Major General Leia Organa had trouble holding on to the fine threads of the braid she was trying to finish.

 

“But Mama, why so long?!”

 

Patience didn’t come with the slow lowering of lids over chocolate eyes and tears prickled at the back of them. Her baby was so much like her father: always ready to move, always in a hurry, always recklessly moving forward.

 

“Because you keep moving,” said Leia, with a touch of exasperation.

“If I stop moving, I can go play with Ava?”

“Yes, my baby,” said Leia, finally letting for of the soft hair.

 

It all came tumbling down when Rey stilled completely, barely even breathing, except for the tiny little voice. "No braid Mama, too tight.”

 

Leia smiled and leaned forward, laying a quick kiss on top of her daughter's head. “Alright, my baby, no braid.”

 

Leia quickly brushed out of the brown locks and gathered the top part of her hair quickly tying it up in a bun. She took the next section, and did the same.  The final tier she wrapped snuggly with a black ribbon, hoping the hair would hold against her three years old's energy. 

 

“There, all done.”

“Play now Mama?”

“Yes,” said Leia, a smile in her voice. “You can go play with Lieutenant Avara. Listen to everything he says.”

 

“Ok!” The girl had jumped of her chair and was running to the door faster than Leia could turn around. She watched her daughter’s frock flap behind her like a cape, her tiny footsteps retreating at lightening speed. 

 

The poor Lieutenant. Nobody knew why but Rey had taken to Avara, she followed him like a particularly talkative shadow. At lost as what to do with the girl, but unwilling to complain about the daughter of Major General Organa, he did the only thing he could think of: he taught the girl everything he knew.

 

Rey was bright and inquisitive, and she found everything he did fascinating wether it was fighting, flying or mechanics. Leia would send her daughter out fresh in the morning and get her back covered in grease in the evening, filled with stories. It was perhaps not the life she had hoped for her child, but with the rise of the First Order, their options were limited.

 

She followed Rey at a more dignified pace and found her daughter pushing the  ladder he’d painted pink for her right up next to him as he examined the bowels of an x-wing fighter. Her baby could barely see into the ship, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her. Ray was already finding purchase along the side of the ship and out of habit more than real awareness, Lieutenant Avara grabbed her by the belt he had insisted she had to wear and kept her from tumbling face first into the engine.

 

“Everything alright here?” Leia asked, making them both aware of her presence.

 

The Lieutenant turned to her and saluted, his hand still holding Rey firmly, “Yes, Major General.”

 

“At ease, Lieutenant.” Something tumbled in the engine with a metallic clank and the Lieutenant turned back to Rey, a frown on his face. Knowing her child was making a mess, Leia smiled. “You’ll send her to command if she”s too much?”

 

“Yes, Major General.”

 

They both knew he would do nothing of the sort.

 

“Go Mama, we’re fixing the engine,” the little voice was muffled, but the metallic pings had resumed. Aware that the longer she stood there, the more damage Rey would inflict on the fighter, Leia smiled, saluted casually and walked away from her baby, knowing she was in good hands. She walked toward the command centre, the base a blur of early morning activity. Leading the rebellion was even less fun now than it had been the first time around, but it was more necessary now than it had been then.

 

The thought squeezed her heart and she bought her hand to her breast bone, willing the pain away. She walked into the early morning frenzy and grabbed the first report at her station. It was tedious work that had to be done, not just because it was the right thing to do, but because her first child had escalated the struggle faster than she could have had imagined. Her guilt and the feeling of responsibility was almost overwhelming and she could only channel it through seeing the end of the First Order, even if it meant the end of her son. Even knowing it would mean the end of her son. 

 

The thought stole her breath. That day would come and she knew she would be the one to give the order and then she all she would have left was his sister. Her final gift. Leia licked her lips and exhaled, the joy of her daughter was always marred by the bittersweetness of their situation. Being a single mother at war with her son was hardly where she had believed she would be when she and Han got married. 

 

“Your Highness, I have your and the young lady’s lunch,” 3p0’s overly pompous tones pierced Leia’s dark thoughts. She looked at her watch, tedium had a tendency to make time run away from her. 

 

“Is Rey still with the Lieutenant?”

“Yes, your Highness.”

 

She had tried years ago to order 3p0 to stop calling her that, but she had had about as much luck with that as she’d had passing him onto Luke. She put down her report and rose. She followed 3p0 to the training room. There was her baby, in the front row, a bright blue glittery stick in her hands as she followed the battle movements. She barely reached the waist of the participants, but she was following with has much fierceness as the biggest soldier they had. Catching sight of her, the training leader stopped and broke for lunch.

 

“Rey!” she called to her daughter who ran, the stick hitting the least attentive soldier on her right.

“Mama! Mama! Look!” in less than three moves, she had 3p0 on his back with a yelped ‘oh dear! I’m dying’

 

“See Mama?” her baby looked so eager, Leia had to chuckle. She raised Ray up on her hip and kissed her precious face all over. “You did so good, my baby.” 

 

She ignored 3p0’s complaint to the contrary and walked out of the training centre. She knew their lunch be set up outside. It was one of the rare sunny days of this planet and they tried to take advantage of it as much as they could. It was a desolate place, too far from the system’s central star to be considered warm, but at least wasn’t Hoth. Rey ran to their table, aware that her lunch was the one with the bright purple sippy cup, her sandwich was cut in perfect squares, the cheese into a perfect pyramid and her apple in perfect quarters, she rebuild the apple until the cuts were all but invisible and gave 3p0 her best smile. “I love my lunch, thank you!”

 

“My pleasure, young lady,” 3p0’s voice was almost pleased, the power of her baby knew no bound. The droid walked away, to give them some space. 

 

As she turned to talk to her daughter, Rey pointed at an incoming craft: “Hot Shot!”

Leia laughed. Her daughter knew their lead pilot’s trademark hot entry and had picked up on the base name for him. She reached across the table and pressed on her daughter’s nose. “If you wanna be that hot shot someday, you have to eat.” The girl nodded emphatically and stuffed the first quarter of her sandwich in her mouth.

 

“Did you have a good morning?” it was the only question needed to start Rey onto the most descriptive narrative of a child’s morning there ever was. By the joy on her baby face, one would think no one had ever lived such wondrous adventures. It didn't matter that all she had done was basic maintenance on an x wing, it held the world to her. Leia felt so unbelievably lucky to have an easy to please child. Well, almost easy.

 

“No peppers, Mama. It’s yucky,” Rey pouted, putting the offending vegetable back on her plate. 

 

“But it’s good for you.” This was not a new argument.

“No.”

Leia smiled indulgently at her child. “|’ll trade you your two pieces of peppers for my four pieces of broccoli. You have to eat it all.”

 

Rey brows furrowed as she tried to work out the deal. It was hard to keep a straight face but with vegetables at stake, Leia knew that she must. 

 

“Three?” The question was unsure, her numbers still a fresh lesson. Admiral Akbar walked to them, carrying papers. Leia held him off with a finger.

 

“Three broccoli and a tomato,” the stakes had been raised, it was that or the peppers. 

 

“Ok!” Rey passed on the offending items to her mother and waited until the exchange was counted out. Leia turned to the Admiral: “Years at the senate all come out to this, peppers against broccoli.”

 

The Admiral folded his hands behind his back. “I believe some of those fractious children prepared you for this moment.”

 

She nodded ruefully and turned back to Rey who had stuffed all the broccoli in her mouth at once. She was observing the movement of the pilots who seemed to walk back inside. Pleading eyes turn to Leia. "Alright, you can go. Be good!" The last was lost to Rey as sprinted away from her mother. 

 

Leia turned back to face the Admiral saved noticed the tomato on the tray. At least she had tried. "What can I do for you admiral?"

 

"Captain Brome reported back from his reconnaissance mission. The Order found the last of the children." There was the slightest tremor in the voice of the war veteran. It spoke if the horrors her son had done to those kids. Leia almost reached for the file she knew contained pictures, but stopped herself at the last minute. Some things were best left alone.

 

"Anything else?"

"The base may be compromised. Their equipment was missing. We can't fully guarantee our safety. I gave the order to pack up."

 

Leia sighed. Every time they moved was time wasted. She understood the practicalities of it, but it didn't mean she liked it. She looked at her old friend and found that his globulous eyes were dating away from her. "What?"

 

"Have you given further thought to what we've discussed?"

 

A sudden urge to punch her oldest friend in the face made Leia put her hands flat on the table. "I will NOT give my child away."

 

There was a hint of pity in the admiral's eye. "She is the last one, Princess. The last Skywalker, the only who can carry the force still. If Kylo Ren discovers her existence, he will come for her."

 

The table heated up under her fingers and the plates rattled with the strength of her rage. Leia took her hands off the table and clasped them together. "What would you gave me do, Admiral? Hold auditions to see who can raise my child? Place an advert in the papers? ‘Last princess of Alderaan looking for a home?’"

 

He caught the tomato that had rolled of the plate with Leia's display. "I would hide the child. If you were to be captured, you would be unable to tell him anything."

 

"Do you believe I'd betray my baby?" The outrage in her voice almost took a seat at the table.

 

"Which one?" The question was as ruthless as it was necessary. The pain that burned her soul didn't change the equation. "It's a decision that will have to be made sooner rather than later." 

 

He gave her a pointed look and walked away, leaving her with the inevitable heartbreak. She waited until she was alone and laid her forehead against the table. The Admiral had made the suggestion in a casual manner when Rey had been six months old and they knew for a fact that Ben had joined the First Order. She had ignored him in the exhaustion of having an infant, but as the rebellion grew in proportion to the First Order, the casual question had become a pressing matter, especially with the slaying of those even rumoured to hold the Force. Leia wasn't stupid, she knew the fate that awaited her baby girl if she was found, but did she really have to lose everything?

 

Tears blurred her vision, but Leia blinked then away. Crying had never brought her anything. She had to think. Rising, she gathered the remnants of their lunch, the two peppers that had been such a contention point forgotten. She handed the trays to 3p0 and walk back to her station. She sat at her desk, her fingers shifting papers all day, but if pressed, she would have been unable to recall a single line written.

 

The sound of their staff breaking up the base was all around them and with every crate they closed, she felt boxed in, suffocating. It took her longer than usual to realize that they were leaving because of her and Rey. It wasn't the rebellion's safety Admiral Ackbar couldn't guarantee, it was hers and Rey's. Leia stood abruptly and left her papers behind, her ears ringing as she gasped for air. She headed straight for the door. The now freezing air hit her starving lungs and made her cough. She leaned forward with her hands on her knees, trying to draw breath, trying to make the world stop its madness. It didn't. Instead her vision blurred further and she saw what would come.

 

It wasn't here and it wasn't today, but it would be soon. Hand held her back, squeezing her arms so hard their protective gear cut unto her skin and she could feel her blood sliding down her skin. The air was too warm as the base burned behind them. Blast noise filled the air, but all she could hear was the buzzing in her ears. 

 

Leia couldn't even hear her own screams while she watched her son stand in front of her daughter, the silver mask covering the face she once loved so much. The glow of his lightsaber scorched her retina before it slid through her baby's heart. Ben pulled the weapon back and she fell to her knees before she could see him cut her precious Rey into tiny little pieces.

 

The vision left her, replaced by the dull grey soil of this barren planet. Hard stone dug into her palms, bringing her back to herself. Leia chocked on the tears she couldn't hold back, her throat burning from the screams she hadn’t imagined. The horror of the future was too much for her mind to assimilate. She forced herself to slow from the short pants to even breaths, the dizziness leaving her less than steady. Leia leaned forward until her forehead touched the ground and she exhaled slowly.

 

The visions didn’t come often, but when they did, they left her devastated. She had seen the massacre, she had seen her son plead allegiance to Snoke and now she saw the certain death of her child. Her precious baby girl. Unable to stop herself, Leia rose to her feet, she wrenched the door open and ran to the hangar. She found Lieutenant Avara on stairs next to a seemingly empty x-wing fighter. Rey was in the cockpit, an adult sized helmet on her head, barely reaching the top. It was tilted back to the edge so she could see the controls as Lieutenant Avara gave her instructions, showing her which buttons to press. Rey looked up and her face brightened when she saw her mother. “Look Mama, I’m flying!”

 

The smile Leia gave her daughter was broken. “I can see that. Wanna land so we can go home?”

 

The Lieutenant gave her the instruction for a forced landing, lifted her out of the cockpit. He took the helmet back from her daughter. “Can I wear it again tomorrow?”

 

“You betcha, recruit,” said the Lieutenant, leaving the helmet down on the seat.

“Yay!” Rey threw herself off the top step and into her mother’s startled but willing arms. “Bye Ava, Bye!”

“Bye Rey.”

 

Leia hugged her baby close to her, unable to keep herself from holding her too tight or kissing her face again and again. She walked them to their rooms out of habit as she buried her face in Rey still baby soft neck. A small hand pressed her cheek. "Ok Mama?"

 

Leia looked up and saw the Admiral observing them from a connecting passage way. She stopped abruptly and stared at him, the misery of the world on her face. She knew it wasn’t his fault, but she wished she could blame him. Leia closed her eyes and gave him the nod that sealed hers and Rey's fate before she looked at her daughter's face. She'd never been so beautiful. She would never see her become more so. "I love you, my baby."

 

"I knoooow!" Rey giggled and leaned forward to give her mother a kiss, secure in the knowledge that she was cherished. Leia hugged her tighter, unwilling to let go, aware that her arms would be empty before too long. She walked past the Admiral, without a word, Rey cuddled to her chest. She arrived at their room and Rey wiggled down, took off her shirt and let it fall to the ground, on her way to the bathroom. Leia had always tossed her into the bath immediately as they came home, more than willing to leave the day behind. She picked up the small clothes and buried her face in them. They smelled of engine, sweat and the sugary sweet smell of her baby. With a shaky exhale, she folded them and followed her daughter inside the small room. Her baby’s small butt was pointed toward her and she smiled. “Need help?”

 

“Ugh! I can’t reach! I can never reach,” the last was said with a pout and Leia reached over her daughter's head for the taps, tears blurring her vision.

 

“Soon, my baby.”

 

“When is soon?” There was her impatient child, eager to be grown up, eager to be able to do things that Leia would never see.

 

“When you’re able to reach the taps. That’s when soon will be.” Leia lifter her daughter into the tub, Rey kicking the rushing water a little, the feeling making her giggle. She sat in the rising water and Leia took out her buns. 

 

“Same tomorrow?”

“Any time you want.”

“OK!”

 

The simple joy on her face caught Leia at the throat. She washed her daughter top to bottom twice, making sure to look at the feet that were just shy of being longer than her hand. The little knees that were fully rounded, soft and unscarred; the tiny protrusions of her spine under skin untried by life. The precious neck that seemed to small to support the river of dark hair that came from her side of the family. The small but mighty hands that seemed capable of touching everything. All of it was so perfect she couldn’t breathe knowing she would not see them grow. A tear rolled down Leia’s cheek and Rey saw it. She followed it with a soapy finger.

 

“Why so sad, Mama?”

“Because life’s unfair.”

“Make it fair.”

“I so wish I could, but some things even I can’t fix.”

“Ava and I can fix?”

 

Leia smiled and cupped Rey’s face. “Not even you and the Lieutenant can fix it. But in time, maybe.”

 

“Same as soon?”

“A bit longer than soon.”

 

The disgust on Rey’s face brought laughter to Leia’s lips.

“It takes a long time growing up. You’ll get that time,” Leia said, grabbing a towel. “Now out you get, before you shrivel up.”

 

Trusting arms extended up and Leia lifted her baby out of the bathwater. She towelled her dry, wrapped her hair up and helped Rey into her purple pyjamas. She pulled the plug on the bath and followed her baby into their main living area. 3p0 had laid down their dinner and left them to their own devices as she requested every night. She pulled the chocolate she hide from Rey out of its hiding place and put it on the table. Round eyes met hers. “You eat everything on that plate, you can have the bar.”

 

“A piece?”

“Tonight, you can have the whole thing.”

 

The wonder on Rey’s face put another dent in her heart. Who was going to give her baby chocolate after tomorrow? Putting the thought away, she sat at the table with her daughter, who’s eyes kept darting to the chocolate. She waited until she felt they’d eaten enough, Leia smiled and took the bar. She cut out the first piece and gave it to her daughter. She might as well have given her the world. She handed the rest of the bar to Rey. “Pace yourself.”

 

Telling the wind to stop blowing might have been marginally more effective. She took the towel off Rey’s head and brushed out the mostly dry hair until it was shiny and sleek. The brushing brought her daughter to a drowsy state. “Go brush your teeth, we’ll go to bed.”

 

“Five stories.”

 

Their evening bargain session on how many stories would be told was a tradition they had started when Rey had started to speak. They always brought it down to two. Not tonight. “As many as you want.”

 

Rey ran to the bathroom and Leia knew there would be too much toothpaste, but it meant nothing now. “Lean over the sink.”

 

“Yessssssh, Mama.”

 

After much spitting noises, Rey ran back in the room and Leia settled herself on the bed under the covers. It didn’t matter than she was fully dressed, she had no plans on sleeping that night. She took Rey in her arms and let the girl settle close to her chest.   “What story do you want?”

 

“Teddy bears!”

“Alright, it was on a forest moon a long, long time ago…”

 

The story of how she married Han on Endor was Rey’s favourite. She had never met her father. When Ben had been seduced to the dark side, they had mostly stopped talking. They just didn't know what to say and then Han took a job for a friend, but he was going to be back. And then she found out she was pregnant and she waited for him. How she waited that night in their home. Dawn came, but he didn’t. He got word to her, three days past his return date to say he’d gotten another job, than another and then words stopped to come and he had never returned. Rey was born and he never laid eyes on the most precious thing they had ever done. He was left to believe they had only brought evil to the world. 

 

What she wouldn’t give to see him show up now. She’d bundle up her baby, get on the falcon with him and leave all this behind to hide in the far reaches. Beyond if she would talk him into it. It was as close to idle wishing as she came, she had learned a long time ago that there was downside to wishes. She wasn’t ready to pay the price for this one.

 

She finished her story and saw that Rey had fallen asleep. It didn’t matter tonight. She kept talking, kept telling stories, kept telling her daughter that she was loved. That one day soon, they would be together again. That she was going to grow up to be smart, kind, resourceful and a pilot like her father. That one day she would fly herself home and her mother would be there, waiting for her, loving her still. She tried to cram a lifetime of love into the minutes that flew away from her.

 

A weak dawn came too soon and a knock stopped the voice that had gone hoarse hours ago. Leia shifted Rey onto the mattress, her arms aching from the void left in them. Admiral Ackbar and Lieutenant Avara stood awkwardly on the other side.

 

“It is time.”

 

Leia nodded and closed the door behind them. She walked to the bed and the light inside her dimmed. She passed her finger around her baby’s face. “Rey, wake up my baby.”

 

“Mama?”

“It’s time to get up, you’re going on a ride with the lieutenant.”

“Flying?”

“Yes. A long ride.”

 

Rey’s sleepy eyes opened wide and she went to alert in a second, she took off her pyjamas right there on the bed and Leia helped her dress as slowly as she could. It was too long for Rey who sighed and ran for the hair brush and ribbons with her shirt half up around her neck. She handed it to her mother. “Same as yesterday, you promised.”

 

“Same as yesterday.”

 

She could barely see the hair she was brushing through her tears, but Leia did the buns as perfectly as she could. She fiddled with the ribbon, doing it twice so she wouldn’t have to let go.

 

“Done Mama?”

“Yes.” With one word, she ended her life with her daughter.

 

Rey jumped off the chair and ran to the door. She yanked it open and smiled at the lieutenant. “We’re going flying?”

 

“You betcha,” the forced cheerfulness didn’t communicate to Rey. She took the too large helmet he handed to her and put it on. It wobbled on her head comically, but laughter was the last thing on Leia’s mind. She walked forward and lifted Rey up. She kissed her baby under the visor. “Mama loves you, Rey. Never forget.”

 

The girl retracted the visor and looked at her mother, puzzled. “I love you too.” She leaned closer to her mother and kissed her, unaware of what it meant. With a final look, Leia passed her daughter over to the Lieutenant who immediately walked away. She watched a tiny hand rise in enthusiastic farewell, the joy of the coming flight almost too much for Rey. They turned the corner and light filled the corridor, leaving Major General Leia Organa alone once more.


End file.
